Monday, January 31, 2011

Cultural Differences Explained

On a beautiful deserted island, in the middle of the South Pacific, the following people are stranded:
 
* Two Italian men and one Italian woman.
 
* Two French men and one French woman.
 
* Two German men and one German woman.
 
* Two Greek men and one Greek woman.
 
* Two English men and one English woman.
 
* Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman.

* Two South African men and one South African women.
 
* Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman.
 
* Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman.
 
* Two Irish men and one Irish woman.
 
* Two American men and one American woman.
 
  A month later, on this deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
 
* One Italian man has killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
 
* The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage à  trois".
 
* The two German men have a very strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
 
* The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.
 
* The two English men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman...
 
* The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming to another island.
 
* The two South African men (one black, one white) spend their days''brother'ing" up and outproving each other in terms of moral highground and smallest shoulder chips ... while the SA women carves an American dildo and has pretend tea parties to tell all her "friends" how amazing her life is ...

* The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo, and are awaiting instructions.
 
* The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant, and laundry.  The woman is pregnant in order to supply more employees for their businesses.
 
* The two Irish men divided the island into north and south, and have set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets a bit foggy after a few pints of coconut whisky.  They are, however, satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.
 
* The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion more than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call "911" and get them rescued off this forsaken, deserted island, in the middle of freaking nowhere, so she can get her nails done, and go shopping!

Posted via email from gregsmithsays